Is it June already? Did that Will Smith movie come out yet? Someone let us know when it comes out because it looks like it’s going to be awesome.

In un-Will-Smith-related news, The Noise FM has shows! We were going to take the summer off while we finish work on our upcoming record “Chinese Democracy,” but there’s only so much time you can spend in a damp basement before someone gets killed. So we’re hitting the road to test out new material.

We played a set this weekend at legendary Chicago jazz club The Green Mill. It’s about time those jazz fools came to their senses and let The Noise Boys show them a thing or two about jamming in 19/8 time signature.

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Friday, June 21, 2013

The Riot Room Patio (EARLY SHOW, BRING YOUR PARENTS!)

4048 Broadway

Kansas City, Missouri

W/Rooms Without Windows and The Empty Spaces

21+ 7pm

Facebook Event

This will be our last Kansas City show until September when we release our long-awaited new record “Metallica: ReLoad.” It would be great to see a bunch of familiar faces watch while we play a bunch of unfamiliar songs!

Friday, June 28, 2013

SubT

Chicago, IL

W/ Blane Fonda, Friends of Italian Opera, Jet W. Lee

Facebook Event

Tickets: http://www.ticketweb.com/fb/3592914/bk

Oh boy. This is one of our only Chicago shows this summer, and we can promise a sweaty good time and possibly an outbreak of pinkeye.

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Saturday, June 29, 2013

Wild Tymes (Palace Stage)

33 7th Place W.

St. Paul, MN 55102

W/ EMOT, Space Heater

St. Paul is one of the “Twin Cities.” We’re not sure what the other twin city is though.

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Sunday, June 30, 2013

Kitty Cat Klub

315 14th Ave SE

Minneapolis, MN

W/ The GumSmackers, Speeds The Name, American Youth

Facebook Event

Coincidentally, Minneapolis is another “Twin City!” This is getting silly!

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Check out Autobotmike18′s review of “After Earth” starring Will Smith and Jaden Smith (no relation). We trust Autobotmike18′s opinion because he took the word “autobot” which we think is some sort of a thing, and combined it with Mike, which is a name, as well as the number 18, presumably because there were 17 other “autobotmike”s.

And be sure to check out our website next week when we review Autobotmike18′s review of “After Earth” starring Will Smith and Jaden Smith. We’ll mostly be talking about autobotmike18′s wall of movie posters and his tank top.

We bought a bunch of colored powder from a small Indian shop in north Chicago a couple of months ago. We don’t speak Hindi so we have no idea what the warning label said. There was a skull on the label though. Judging from the amount of neon pink phlegm we’re still coughing up, the powder was at least slightly toxic. Ah well, it looks super awesome in slo-mo.

Here is the video for “Every Other Word,” one of the harder rocking tunes from our upcoming record “Attraction.”

You can download the song for free on our Bandcamp page (or pay if you want. (UPDATE: don’t pay for it. I just realized when we release the record in its entirety, you’ll probably end up having to pay for it anyway. That’s a huge oversight on our part. Sorry, guys.))

Thanks to Rhapsody Productions for all of their hard work on the video. And special thanks to all of our friends who hung out with us for a day to dump confetti, bouncy balls and expired lead-based paint we found in the basement of a high school auditorium all over our us and our equipment. Thanks Stacy, Mike, Jim, R.J., Andrew, Carolina, Claire, and Mark.

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Our next show is Friday, May 17 at The Metro. It’s an early one. 8pm. And we’re on 2nd in the line-up. So you can show up late to the show like we usually do, but you’ll probably miss our set.

Advance tickets for The Metro are half price if you buy them in advance with our promo code NOISE.

Tickets: http://www.etix.com/ticket/online/performanceSearch.jsp?performance_id=1718075&cobrand=metrochicago

Austin has submitted an application to be a contestant on ABC’s obstacle-course reality show, “Wipeout.” The show: laugh-out-loud hilarious. Austin’s application? Kind of sad.

“Professional Headshot”

WHO IS YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER AND OCCUPATION?

 The Noise FM – musician, writer, live performer

Securities and Exchance [sic] Commission – Chicago Office – office administrator

2. WHAT ARE THE MOST INTERESTING JOBS YOU HAVE HAD?

 Wedding DJ – Travelling musician – Substitute teacher

3. WHAT IS THE NEXT MILESTONE IN YOUR LIFE BESIDES WIPEOUT?

 Cooking dinner tonight. Probably spaghetti.

4. WHAT ARE YOUR SHORT TERM GOALS BESIDES WIPEOUT? PLEASE LIST:

 Tour the country, compete in several “Tough Mudder” marathon events this summer, feed my cat, feed myself.

5. WHAT ARE YOUR LONG TERM GOALS BESIDES WIPEOUT? PLEASE LIST:

 Sustaining myself as a musician on the road, playing shows all across the world, eating every kind of grilled cheese I can find.

6. WHAT SPORTS ORGANIZATIONS HAVE YOU BEEN A MEMBER OF? PLEASE LIST ALL THAT APPLY AND THE LEVELS PLAYED:

 Fort Scott High School soccer – Varsity team!

7. PLEASE LIST THOSE THAT APPLY: MARRIED, DIVORCED, BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND, SINGLE. HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN IN YOUR CURRENT RELATIONSHIP?

 Been dating myself for about 5 months

8. HAVE YOU EVER WON ANY AWARDS / DISTINCTIONS?

 My mom once got me a fridge magnet that said “World’s Best Son.” And in high school I won “Novice Speaker of The Year” among a team of 4 students…

 9. WHAT WERE YOU VOTED MOST LIKELY TO… IN YOUR HIGH SCHOOL YEARBOOK?

 Host Saturday Night Live. It’s in the works.

“Photo Of Applicant Performing Physical Activity”

10. WHAT ARE YOUR BEST QUALITIES?

 Outgoing. Good sense of humor. Talented musician. I can make a wicked broccoli soup.

11. WHAT ARE YOUR WORST QUALITIES?

 My over-confidence in my broccoli soup making skills.

12. WHAT ARE YOUR HOBBIES?

 Video games, movies, comics, music, painting, cooking, sleeping, staring contests with my cat.

13. GIVE AN EXAMPLE OF WHEN YOU HAVE RISEN TO A CHALLENGE IN COMPETITION.

 Once my friend dared me to eat an entire large pizza. I rose up out of my chair, grabbed the pizza, and ate roughly half of it.

 14. DO YOU HAVE ANY FEARS? IF SO, HOW DID THEY COME ABOUT?

 Massive fear of heights. When I was little I fell off of a homemade zipline in our backyard treehouse. I now fear heights and rope… especially high rope.

15. DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL OR STRANGE TALENTS?

 I can touch my nose with my tongue. I can also get away with sleeping at my desk at work. Most people are jealous of that skill.

 16. WHAT IS YOUR UNIQUE AND PERSONAL MOTIVATION FOR WANTING TO COMPETE ON THE SHOW?

 I want to prove to my brother that the obstacles on the show are easier than they look and that I deserve to be in charge of the TV remote control half the week. And to pick up chicks.

 17. HOW WOULD YOU USE YOUR WIPEOUT WINNINGS?

 Spend some of it to pay off our band debt from touring too much. The rest would be spent on snacks.

 18. WHAT IS THE MOST DARING AND DANGEROUS THING YOU HAVE EVER DONE? DESCRIBE THE CIRCUMSTANCES:

 I once climbed a 25 foot tree at night in our backyard to rescue our cat, Mr. Budget. Circumstances were the cat wouldn’t come down, I wanted to eat my mac and cheese dinner and watch LOST, so I just manned up and climbed it like a total boss. I was the house MVP for the night.

19. WHAT FAMOUS PERSON DO PEOPLE SAY YOU RESEMBLE?

 I’ve been told I resemble a young Eric Roberts mixed with an older Julia Roberts.

“Photo Of Contestant Performing A Favorite Hobby”

20. IF YOU COULD BE ANYONE LIVING OR DEAD, REAL OR FICTION, WHO WOULD YOU BE AND WHY?

 Most definitely Wolverine. Have you seen his facial hair? Next question.

21. DESCRIBE YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENT:

 In high school I went to a Weezer concert. I couldn’t handle the crazy “Weezer pit” up front. As I tried to climb over the front railing with the help of the security guards my pants got stuck on the railing and I mooned the entire crowd and the band. I heard someone start crying.

 22. IS THERE ANYTHING INTERESTING OR UNUSUAL ABOUT YOU THAT WE SHOULD KNOW?

 My favorite food is spaghetti [sic] with tomato sauce but coincidentally tomatoes make me sick. It’s a price I’m willing to pay. I also met Gary Busey once.

 23. IF YOU WERE GRANTED ONE WISH (HOWEVER IMPOSSIBLE), WHAT WOULD IT BE AND WHY?

 I would wish my cat, Mr. Budget, had the ability to clean the house and cook dinner during the day while I was at work. Basically I wish my cat would start earning his free rent around here.